POOP READING
Aug 20, 2010

There has been considerable controversy lately surrounding a proposed Islamic community center that would be built in a location two blocks from the World Trade Center site in New York City, as some feel it would be insensitive. But this is not the first Ground Zero building proposal that has been subject to negative reaction...

Other Construction Projects Deemed Too Inappropriate to Be Allowed Within Five Blocks of Ground Zero

—The No Background Check Required Flight Training Academy (Brandon)

—A Curves for Al Qaeda fitness facility. (Matt)

—The Obvious-Reasons-People-Want-to-Bomb-America Education Center (Tenessa)

—A stand selling novelty President's Daily Briefings with "[Your Name Here] Determined To Strike in U.S." as the headline. (Jameson)

—A Coke Zero bottling plant. (Mike)

—The President Barack Obama Secret Muslim Cultural Center (Joe)

—Headquarters for The Pro-Defamation League (Matt)

—The 20th Hijacker Bar & Grill (Brandon)

—A statue depicting members of Congress pissing on a pile of medical bills for New York City fire fighters. (Tenessa)

—Rob's House of Daily Streetwide Confetti Showers of Paper, Asbestos, Debris, and Human Ash was voted down before he even got through the proposal. (Jameson)

—A Hoboken, NJ tourist information kiosk. (Matt)

—A billboard that says "Muslim Republicans are Fags" (good luck figuring out who to smear as intolerant on that one, lefty!). (Joe)

—Uncle Osama's Hot Wings Emporium! (Mike)

—A giant ass in which all the things New Yorkers have told each other to shove can finally be inserted. (Matt)

—The Museum of Patriotic Sluts (Brandon)

—A public cage for Glenn Beck. (Tenessa)

—A new Target. (Jameson)

—Ground Zero: The Theme Park (Matt)

—The Depictions of Muhammed Art Institute (Brandon)

—A Denny's. (Tenessa)

—A statue of Michael Bloomberg pleasuring a terrorist. (Matt)

—Any construction project that would be ready to break ground in less than a decade, thereby making the Ground Zero planners appear sluggish for not starting yet. (Jameson)

—A building made entirely of fire. (Matt)

—A memorial to all of the victims of the Ground Zero Mosque Debate of 2010. (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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