POOP READING
Mar 25, 2011

The U.S. Census Bureau released data from its 2010 census this week, and one item that garnered headlines was that the population of the city of Detroit has dropped 25% over the last decade, to its lowest level since 1910. However, that was hardly the only surprising piece of information to be found...

Other Surprising Facts Found in the 2010 U.S. Census Data

—Also at the lowest level since 1910? Mickey Rooney's testicles. (Joe)

—An alarming 40% of Americans now cite "Twilight" as their religion. (Jameson)

—"Giving handjobs to hobos" is one of the only fields in which employment continues to grow. (Tenessa)

—A whopping 84% of those surveyed feel that "fun size" should be adopted as a standard unit of measurement. (Brandon)

—According to projections, by the end of this decade, every single American will have been personally "roasted" by comedian Jeffrey Ross. (Joe)

—26% of the country now describes itself as "American-American," with 50% of that population adding "dammit!" in the margin beside it. (Jameson)

—Almost everyone in New Jersey is, in fact, a fucking asshole. (Tenessa)

—23% of Americans have used a snorkel for non-water-breathing purposes. (Brandon)

—Nobody "doesn't watch TV;" that's just pretentious bullshit. (Joe)

—There was a sharp spike in census surveys that were returned unanswered, accompanied by a strong letter asserting the respondent's Fifth Amendment rights. (Jameson)

—Wyoming only has five people left. (Tenessa)

—Montana's population is now 93% water buffalo. (Brandon)

—Kate Gosselin actually only has five kids. Two of the children on her show are SAG extras, and one is a digital copy of one of her other kids, greenscreened in. (Jameson)

—Gene Dawson, 74, of Parma, OH, is the man who put the "Bomp" in the "Bomp Sha-Bomp Sha-Bomp." (Joe)

—Two-thirds of respondents said they thought it tastes like chicken. (Brandon)

—17% of Americans listed "Doritos" as their occupation. (Jameson)

—One in five people have a guy in their neighborhood named Jimmy who "knows how to get things." (Brandon)

—At the current rate of growth, by 2035, America's largest minority will be "furries." (Jameson)

—We're hipster Twitter addicts. Nothing surprises us. #overit (Tenessa)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons

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