Apr 22, 2011

—Embarrassing "White House" to be replaced by classy "Golden Trump House." (Mike)

—Finally getting to the bottom of this deal with Obama's birth certificate. (Jameson)

—Vice President Gary Busey. (Tenessa)

—His morning routine of walking past every past President's portrait and saying "You're fired!" (Matt)

—Not to be indelicate, but, the new First Lady's tits. (Joe)

—Finally solving our country's financial problems by handing the reins over to a guy who has had to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy multiple times. (Brandon)

—His first, second, and third unconstitutional dissolutions of Congress. (Mike)

—You can bet those Trump Bucks are gonna be pretty sweet. (Jameson)

—Maybe now the rich can FINALLY get some tax breaks! (Tenessa)

—Setting the stage for an Alec Baldwin/Keith Olbermann White House in 2016. (Matt)

—You just know that one day he'd wake up grumpy and start annexing the shit out of South America. (Joe)

—Regular updates of America's Q-rating in the State of the Union address. (Mike)

—With The Apprentice off the air, NBC will have room for more prime-time Leno! (Jameson)

—The sad hilarity of the phrase "President The Donald." (Tenessa)

—$900-a-gallon gasoline after Trump tells OPEC they have "no class." (Mike)

—A Congressional investigation into how such an ugly man could produce such an attractive daughter. (Matt)

—Having an Ivy League rich guy in the Oval Office would certainly be a refreshing change of pace. (Joe)

—The constant battles between the wind generated by the Marine One helicopter and the efforts of his hair stylist. (Mike)

—New Cabinet-level Department of Fuggedaboutit! (Jameson)

—Rose Garden ceremony in which his current wife and latest former wife shake hands. (Mike)

—The renaming of the Washington Monument to Trump Tower: DC. (Matt)

—It goes without saying that his Press Secretary will have killer gams. (Jameson)

—One less reality show on TV. (Mike)

—His plan to fix the economy? He's just going to buy it. The whole thing. Problem solved. (Tenessa)

—The instant regret of the American people. (Mike)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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