Poop Reading - Other Things Undecided Voters Can't Decide

Other Things Undecided Voters Can't Decide

—Whether Lance Armstrong ever took performance-enhancing substances. (Jameson)

—If forced to list the five greatest TV shows of all time, would Animal Practice rank 3rd or 4th? (Matt)

—Whether to look at Moe, Larry, or Curly when masturbating to The Three Stooges. (Brandon)

—Whether or not the "Is This Anything?" segment on The Late Show with David Letterman is anything. (Dan)

—For $1,500, would you bang a Klingon? Not a person in a Klingon costume; a Klingon. (Joe)

—Who's hotter: Joe Biden or Ryan Gosling? (Matt)

—Which of two equidistant cheeseburgers to eat. (The leading cause of starvation deaths in Ohio.) (Jameson)

—Does that bear with all the foam around his mouth seem friendly? (Brandon)

—Which is more comfortable: peeing sitting down, or pooping standing up? (Matt)

—How far the Q-tip should go in the ear today. (Dan)

—Whether the 2012 Arizona Cardinals are, in fact, contenders or pretenders. (Joe)

—Is Elton John really gay? (Matt)

—To go anal, armpit, or oral when it comes to taking a temperature. Each side makes some strong arguments. (Dan)

—What to name the new gay abortion assault weapon hedge fund they just started. (Jameson)

—Who'd be better in the sack: Jesus or Tim Tebow? (Matt)

—When to stop staring at the bug zapper. (Dan)

—How to get their head out of the dark, dank, foul-smelling cave it seems to be stuck in. (Brandon)

—Whether or not they should finally cast their vote for the 2000 Presidential Election. (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons