POOP READING
Oct 5, 2012

The first presidential debate of the 2012 election was held on Wednesday night at the University of Denver in Colorado. As always, it was a high-profile event, with tons of media coverage and an estimated 67 million people watching at home. And behind the scenes and in the audience, there was plenty of talk about the event...

Things Overheard at the First Presidential Debate

—"Is this a debate, or a contest to see who can talk over Jim Lehrer the most?" (Jameson)

—"We gave it our best shot, but we just couldn't find a way to strap Romney's dog to the side of his podium." (Brandon)

—"I'd like to bet $50 million dollars on Mitt Romney winning tonight's debate. My name? Uhhh, Orack Babama." (Mike)

—"A black guy and a Mormon, huh? Boy, if Thomas Jefferson could see this, he'd be all like, 'Please, for the love of God, let me die! I'm 269 years old and trapped without end in this broken and decrepit shell of a body! What unholy curse has befallen me, that I must suffer in this manner??'" (Joe)

—"I hear they both get free tote bags after this debate!" (Dan)

—"Great job, Lehrer. We ran out of time and didn't get to cover the important issue of tree height!" (Jameson)

—"I don't see why the things I've been saying for the last 12 months should bind me to the things I am going to say tonight." (Mike)

—"No, Governor Romney, I don't want to go back to your hotel room to 'check out the size of the overnight bump in your poll'." (Joe)

—"THAT'S President Obama?? I thought that was Don Cheadle!" (Brandon)

—"THAT'S Governor Romney?? I thought that was Don Cheadle!" (Jameson)

—"Which heckling balcony Muppet is the moderator, again?" (Joe)

—"Obama seems a little less poised and polished, but I guess I'd be distracted too if I knew my wife was going commando to celebrate our anniversary." (Jameson)

—"I heard the President bet Axelrod that he could shit the bed in the first debate and still win." (Mike)

—"Well! I think that ought to clear up the question of whose tax policy is less interesting to listen to!" (Jameson)

—"Obama is sooo not getting laid tonight." (Dan)

—"Romney is sooo having average intercourse tonight." (Dan)

—"I'll tell the kids. It's time to put down Old Lehrer." (Mike)

—"Can you believe NBC pre-empted Animal Practice for THIS?" (Brandon)

—"Well, Romney just lost my vote. I fucking hate Big Bird!" (Jameson)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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