—The Pig Lebowski (Jameson)
—"I hope you're not allergic to nuts." (Mike)
—Revamped "Suggestions For You" section that would contain personalized messages like: "Lose some weight, tubby", "Add a little more makeup there, fugmo", or "Go fuck yourself, Matt". (Matt)
—Anything Goes (But No Anal) (Brandon)
—String together unpronounceable consonants. (Tenessa)
—Harry Potter and the Death of Cold You'll Catch If You Don't Button Up That Jacket, Young Man (Joe)
—Raiders of the Lost Aardvark (Brandon)
—Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr. Looking Down on A-Rod Spanking It to a Picture of His Widow, Coretta (Jameson)
—Sex outside of the missionary position. (Mike)
—Be achingly white. (Matt)
—VHS rentals for ironic hipsters. (Tenessa)
—Avenue Jew (Joe)
—Keister a magical golden basketball found in an abandoned cave deep in the mountains of Tajikistan. Or at least that's what I thought I heard Jay Bilas say once on ESPN. I wasn't really paying attention. (Brandon)
—"I usually do the drive-thru, but tonight I feel like coming inside." (Jameson)
—Steve Jobs's Grieving Children (Mike)
—Bonnie and Clydesdale (Matt)
—Les Moonveserables (Joe)
—Sexy Hiroshima Survivor (Tenessa)
—Every DVD copy of Tree of Life will come with a handful of skin flakes from director Terrance Malick. (Brandon)
—Slap a fake mustache on Newt Gingrich and take their chances. (Jameson)
—Sexual Predator Drone (Mike)
—As I Lay Queefing (Matt)
—Spend one minute in a room with Christian Laettner without singing "Gaaaay, Gay Gaay Gaay GAAAAYYYY" to the tune of the Dragnet theme. (To be fair though, almost nobody except Mike Krzyzewski can do that.) (Joe)
—Charlie and the Regular Windowless Elevator (Tenessa)
—Doggy Day Afternoon (Brandon)
—Matthew Broderick Shits in a Tin Bucket Live on Stage for 45 Minutes (Jameson)
—Netflixlovers.com, a fetish site for people who enjoy making love to Netflix DVD sleeves. (Matt)
—How To Succeed In Business By Screwing Over Those Chumps In the 99% (Joe)
—No butt stuff. Well, okay, maybe a little butt stuff. (Brandon)
—"You're gonna be glad you wore that bib." (Jameson)
—Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kinkajou (Matt)
—T-Shirt That Says "Occupy Wall Street," Then a Pair of Shorts with "Wall Street" Written on the Back and an Arrow Pointing to the Butthole (Joe)
—Hey, Isn't That Hal Linden? Nope, Nope, It Is Clearly Not (Brandon)
Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner
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