Apr 5, 2013

—Keeps choosing a urinal right next to someone when there are enough free urinals to create a buffer zone. (Mike)

—Wore drab, olive-colored, vaguely militaristic pantsuit after Labor Day. (Joe)

—Has taken to singing Janet Jackson's song "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" whenever he's asked what he's been doing lately. (Dan)

—Continuing to watch TruTV even after their March Madness coverage ended. (Matt)

—Has been going around giving himself the nickname "KJ", as if none of us had ever heard of former NBA All-Star and current Sacramento, CA mayor Kevin Johnson. (Brandon)

—Still watching How I Met Your Mother for some reason. (Jameson)

—Bought a pair of Reeboks on purpose. (Mike)

—Legalized gay marriage in North Korea, but only between himself and Dennis Rodman. (Joe)

—Started a state-sponsored show that just airs spoilers for other shows. (Dan)

—Has repeatedly risked the integrity of his plastic mixing bowls by placing them in the bottom rack of the dishwasher. (Matt)

—When in a crowd, he loudly suggests that Pippa MIddleton does not have a nice ass. (Mike)

—Greenlit Indiana Jones 5. I mean enough already. (Joe)

—Watches Downton Abbey, yet refuses to incessantly tell everyone about it. (Dan)

—No longer holding back his farts during cabinet meetings the morning after Kimchi and Calamari Night. (Matt)

—Spending all meetings with his military leaders just having them do live readings of Golden Girls scripts. (Mike)

—Claimed that Bob Eubanks is the most awesome person with whom he shares a birthday, when it's clearly Soupy Sales. (Joe)

—Keeps humping EVERYTHING! (Dan)

—Signed Jay Leno to host North Korean version of The Tonight Show. (Mike)

—Sexting Melissa Rivers. (Matt)

Baron von Contributors: Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Dan Lee, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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