POOP READING
Oct 21, 2016

If you've watched an NFL game or driven on a road in the past two weeks, you're aware that we're in the middle of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But October is also National SIDS Awareness Month, LGBT History Month, National Adopt A Shelter Dog Month, and Dwarfism/Little People Awareness Month, among many others. With so many official months in circulation, it comes as no surprise that Congress is deluged with proposals, some of which simply don't make the cut.

Official Months That Never Got Off the Ground

—Righteous Indignation Month (Tenessa)

—Hashtag Awareness Month (Jameson)

—National Sheepishly Return a Shelter Dog About Three Weeks Later Month (Brandon)

—Finally Give a Shit Month (Matt)

—National Think About Peter Boyle Drinking a Glass of Milk Month (Brandon)

—Buy More Than One Small Cup of Black Coffee To Justify Your Five Hours of Free Wi-Fi Squatting Month (Mike)

—Doritos History Month (Tenessa)

—Guys Named Craig Heritage Month (Brandon)

—"Remember How We Thought Movies Would Never Be the Same After Avatar?" Month (Jameson)

—Ladies' Month (Oh what a month!) (Tenessa)

—James Arness and Elliott Ness Awareness Month (Brandon)

—National Loud Conversations While Peeing Month (Jameson)

—"Why Do My Arms Look Exactly Like Larry Bird's?" Awareness Month (Brandon)

—Thelonious Month (Tenessa)

—National National Awareness Awareness Month (Brandon)

—Forget All About Breast Cancer Month (Jameson)

—Many People Are Saying I'm Great Month (observed in November) (Mike)

—Hastily Eating a Burrito in a Parking Lot Month (Brandon)

—Put Off Cleaning the Garage Till Next Month Month (Jameson)

—Douche-tember. (Joe)

Baron von Contributors: Tenessa Gemelke, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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