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Why just settle for rooting for Oscar-nominated actors when you can use them as pawns in your own diabolical chess game?

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Bringing to mind the mnemonic: Even Bad Entertainment Requires Tenacity.

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Is it possible to mine an iota of excitement from this year's Oscars? Is Rooney Mara the name of a female person? Can a chat room transcript still make for captivating reading even if nobody in it is impersonating a 15-year-old girl? We aim to answer all these questions with a hearty "Indeed, sir!"

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It's just like our Movie Draft, but with twice the rules and half the fun. Oh dear lord, what have we done?

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In which all of our lists, combined, tell you all you really need to know about what you should be watching.

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In which I blame Don Ohlmeyer for most of society's ills.

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Easily the most Andrew film you will ever see about a time-traveling Edgar Allan Poe.

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What were you going to do with the Oscars on Sunday – just watch them? We remixed the sumbitches! Welcome to the future!

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If you don't watch these shows, you're bad and wrong.

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Filled with apologies, self-aggrandizement, confessions, putting myself down, and a surprise ending. It's like a TV show all by itself!

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The first of five reviews of the films from the 2010 Movie Draft gives us Christopher Plummer and Stanley Tucci fighting over railroads and Penelope Cruz's heart.

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We did this last year and you shit your pants from its awesomeness. All we can say is, we hope you bought at least two new pairs of pants this year.

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Brandon wants to shoot DVDs into space. Mike wants to shave Morgan Spurlock. Joe threatens to punch Jameson in the face. Jameson threatens to burn down the Internet. But in the end, the love is just too strong...

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Heavy on comedy, light on drama, and devoid of all reality. Shows! Reality shows was what I was... sigh.

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David Letterman isn't the only one who has some explaining to do.

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My take on a column idea that originated more than a year ago. I am nothing if not timely.

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Strikes and scandals haven't just hurt the game; they've hurt the moviegoing public.

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The second of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft finds Penélope Cruz, Anne Hathaway and Mickey Rourke in a thriller set in the hot, steamy jungles of Central and South America.

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Fire. Sliced bread. The automobile. Flight. Landing on the moon. These were some of mankind's greatest achievements. Until now.

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While everyone debates which movie deserves to win at this year's Oscars, we take a look at who should have won in 2003. Be warned: the Academy's choices don't look any better in the long view.

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In which I take Entertainment Weekly to task, make a hypocrite of myself, and generally rue the continued underappreciation of Albert Brooks.

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These people are smart, funny, and hardworking. What do they have to do to get the recognition they deserve? Be smarter, funnier, and hardworkinger?

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What can the Detroit Lions learn from eight other NFL teams that have suffered through disastrous seasons? Plenty.

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It was probably that evil Gavin MacLeod, or George "Goober" Lindsey.

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Everybody's been clamoring for some absurd sketch comedy featuring talking household tools, right? Right?

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A Bill James assertion about baseball and character leads to a rogues gallery of dirty rotten scoundrels.

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Where the lesson is: never trust ABC.

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A farewell homage to the boys over at firejoemorgan.com.

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It appears we're not exactly pulling in the cream of the crop when it comes to ad buys.

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A gesture of friendship takes an unexpected turn.

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The classic list, now with 10% less hate-filled swearing!

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Winning another Outstanding Comedy Series Emmy doesn't necessarily signal the end of worrying over ratings.