POOP READING

Nov 11, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 10

You didn't ask for an all-limerick NFL picks column, but you're getting one!

Nov 4, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 9

Naturally last week I picked my best week of the season not to select my five favorite games because I didn't "feel good about any of them."

Oct 28, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 8

You can pick NFL games, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick an NFL game's nose.

Oct 22, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 7

Dashed these off real quick so I didn't have to say I missed a week...

Oct 14, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 6

Like any of this matters, since the Vikings aren't playing.

Oct 8, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 5

Here goes very nearly nothing.

Sep 30, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 4

Much like the Steelers and Cardinals, I'm in need of a bounce back week!

Sep 24, 2016

2016 NFL Picks, Week 3

My best bets and my overall picks were both one game over .500 last week. Ride this gravy train to prosperity, everyone!

Sep 17, 2016

2016 NFL Picks - Week 2

Let's see if I can write an NFL picks thing for a few weeks in a row, shall we?

May 26, 2016

2016 Movie Draft

Remember when the Oscars happened? Like, months ago? Well, this happened too! And finally, we got our stuff together and got it published. Featuring extra-special contributions from Holly Moyer and Betsy Rosenblatt! Enjoy!

Feb 28, 2014

2014 Movie Draft

It's BAAAA-aaaack. Wait, that's a typo: it's back. Featuring special guest movie drafter Alicia Kirk.

Ponce de Leon

This is one of the movies to come out of our fabulous, scintillating PoopReading.com Movie Draft (which you should totally read first). It's way longer than we agreed we'd make these. Inexcusably, self-indulgently longer. Enjoy!

Oct 3, 2013

The Best Show on TV

"Breaking Bad" is gone. But don't cry over spilled meth; there is still greatness out there.

Jul 10, 2013

Hell. And Back.

I had a bad dream. I wrote about it.

Feb 22, 2013

2013 Movie Draft

Why just settle for rooting for Oscar-nominated actors when you can use them as pawns in your own diabolical chess game?

Jun 20, 2012

Are Women Funny? I Tackle the Issue. [Spoiler Alert: Women Are Funny]

I love comedy. I love women. I love Adam Carolla. I love the internet. When all of those things threaten to converge, "Denzel-and-Chris-Pine-in-a-runaway-train"-style, I've simply got to say something.

Feb 29, 2012

Movie Draft: The New Land

The New Land? More like The Booooo Land. ["I was saying Booo-urns Land."]

Feb 24, 2012

2012 Movie Draft

Is it possible to mine an iota of excitement from this year's Oscars? Is Rooney Mara the name of a female person? Can a chat room transcript still make for captivating reading even if nobody in it is impersonating a 15-year-old girl? We aim to answer all these questions with a hearty "Indeed, sir!"

Oscar Picks 2012

Any Oscar that Warrior doesn't win is an Oscar that goes to the wrong person. Well, except maybe costume design. The guys in Warrior mostly just wore fighting trunks.

Dec 9, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 14

The fantasy playoffs have begun... or, if you went up against Pittsburgh's Antonio Brown in last night's game like I did, they might be over before they even started.

Dec 2, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 13

Let's get this over with.

Nov 27, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 12

Just the picks, ma'am. [The full column will be back next week]

Nov 18, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 11

Just one more week, and then these pesky byes will be done plaguing fantasy football players forever! Well, or until next season.

Nov 11, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 10

The football picks are back! Not with a vengeance, by any stretch of the imagination... but they're back nonetheless.

Nov 4, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 9

I'm taking a bye week...

Oct 28, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 8

Sure the World Series has been an absolute classic... but now it's time to read about football!

Oct 21, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 7

A lot of games this week are going to have that "new quarterback smell."

Oct 17, 2011

2011 TV Draft

It's just like our Movie Draft, but with twice the rules and half the fun. Oh dear lord, what have we done?

Oct 14, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 6

I sort of rushed this one. Feel free to rush your reading of it.

Oct 7, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 5

10-6 with the picks last week... inching toward respectability! ("Inching Toward Respectability" will be the title of my autobiography, incidentally)

Sep 30, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 4

50-50 for the second straight week... finally, my picks are not appreciably worse than flipping a coin!

Sep 27, 2011

The PoopReading.com Top Ten TV Shows of the 2010-2011 Season

In which all of our lists, combined, tell you all you really need to know about what you should be watching.

Sep 23, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 3

We're getting there, folks. Just a few more weeks, and I should have this whole thing all figured out.

Sep 21, 2011

Joe's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2010-2011 Season

There will be an opening at Number 1. So long, "Friday Night Lights."

Sep 16, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 2

Week 1 is basically my preseason, i.e., the records really shouldn't be of any concern. It's just all about getting your schemes installed. This week, it's for real!

Sep 9, 2011

NFL 2011 - Week 1

The glorious return of my not-so-glorious football picks. Please enjoy responsibly.

Jul 26, 2011

The Best Show On TV

I wish I had more to say about "Breaking Bad." Unfortunately, it's so good that I'd feel silly adding anything.

May 5, 2011

An In-Depth Review of the "Maxim" 2011 Hot 100

If you take a dispassionate look at this list from a sociological standpoint, it does make the exercise seem a bit less unseemly.

Mar 3, 2011

The Best Show on TV

Now that "Friday Night Lights" is off the air, this title might start changing hands a bit more often.

Feb 25, 2011

Oscar Picks 2011!

I'll be honest: these won't be as good as last year's. Last year I won the Oscar pool. This year? Just hoping to finish in the top half. Still, read on. Like you've got anything better to do...

Feb 24, 2011

Movie Draft: Rhubarb

When you hear a movie is "quirky," that usually just means you're going to have to pretend to like it if you don't want your hipster friends to think you're stupid. Luckily for us, Rhubarb is the other kind of quirky. The kind that's actually just good.

Feb 21, 2011

2011 Movie Draft

What were you going to do with the Oscars on Sunday – just watch them? We remixed the sumbitches! Welcome to the future!

Dec 15, 2010

It's a Wonderful Favre

Once published on the NFL.com's long-gone Blog Blitz website, now published here

Sep 21, 2010

The Top Ten Shows of the 2009-2010 TV Season

If you don't watch these shows, you're bad and wrong.

Sep 13, 2010

Joe's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2009-2010 Season

Now that the 2010-2011 TV season is about to start, we figured we'd better get started on last season's Top Ten lists! Tune in throughout the week for more lists from the whole PoopReading.com crew; I know you will!

Jun 15, 2010

Why Americans Just Won't Buy Into Soccer

Like with most things, I'm naturally inclined to blame Clinton and hippies. But in this instance, try as I might, I couldn't find a way to blame Clinton.

May 5, 2010

The Best Show On TV

I suspect that "Friday Night Lights" will hold this title until it goes off the air for good. There's really nothing "Modern Family" or anybody else can do, which is a bit of a shame, but "Friday Night Lights" is just so damn good.

Mar 9, 2010

Movie Draft: If You Knew Suzie...

Meryl Streep and Morgan Freeman... how can you possibly go wrong?

Mar 4, 2010

Oscar Picks 2010!

I haven't seen any of the movies, which means my judgment will not – cannot! – be clouded. This is my year.

Mar 3, 2010

2010 Movie Draft

We did this last year and you shit your pants from its awesomeness. All we can say is, we hope you bought at least two new pairs of pants this year.

Mar 2, 2010

The Five-Year Oscar Rule: Best Picture, 2004

Brandon wants to shoot DVDs into space. Mike wants to shave Morgan Spurlock. Joe threatens to punch Jameson in the face. Jameson threatens to burn down the Internet. But in the end, the love is just too strong...

Mar 1, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Picture

We conclude our look at the most overlooked by taking a look at Best Picture. Also, be sure to check back with us every day this week... we're about to go Oscar nuts at PoopReading.com!

Feb 25, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Director

After this comes the big dog: Marmaduke! No, I mean... Best Picture!

Feb 23, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Actor

Just two more to go after this one: Best Director and Best Picture. I don't know about you... but I'm going to miss the Snubbies when they're gone.

Feb 19, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Actress

We finish out the week – but not the Snubbies, so don't worry – with Best Actress. More to come, so join us again on Monday. Or Tuesday. No later than Tuesday.

Feb 17, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Supporting Actor

We continue our week-long righting of the past decade's Oscar wrongs.

Feb 16, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Supporting Actress

The Oscars may not be able to get it right, but by God, we will. Join us all week for the Snubbies!

Dec 20, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 15

Just the picks. Very busy.

Dec 11, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 14

Everyone had a bad Week 13 picking games, apparently. Not just me.

Dec 6, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 13

Well, it's not really a proper picks column, per se, but I wanted to make sure to get my picks in for the record, at least.

Nov 27, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 12 - Part Two

I need a good week. I'm only one game above .500.

Nov 26, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 12 - Part One

A quick picks column for the three Thanksgiving Day games.

Nov 20, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 11

The bye weeks are done. Everybody's playing. Life is as it should be.

Nov 13, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 10

I could have won money on the NFL last weekend, but I voluntarily chose not to. Details inside...

Nov 6, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 9

Bad week last week. Good week this week? One week, two week, red week, blue week! (Sorry; I haven't been getting much sleep...)

Oct 31, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 8

Happy Halloween, everyone, and Happy Week 8 of the NFL Season!

Oct 23, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 7

Man, I thought of such a witty, insightful blurb for this space, but now I can't for the life of me remember what it was.

Oct 16, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 6

Sometimes, don't you just kind of feel bad for people who don't like football?

Oct 9, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 5

In which the handsomeness of AFC East quarterbacks does not go unremarked upon.

Oct 2, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 4

10-6 last week... let's keep it up. Let's creep steadily toward non-mediocrity.

Sep 25, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 3

Hope you like limericks. This week, it's nothing but limericks.

Sep 18, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 2

And we're off to a .500 start...

Sep 11, 2009

NFL 2009 - Week 1

Are you ready for some [guy's picks column about] footbaaaaaaaaall?

Sep 10, 2009

The Best Show On TV

It's "Glee." It'll be "Glee" for a while.

Aug 28, 2009

The Best Television Shows of the 2008-2009 Season

In which all four of our Ten Best lists are factored in, and we tell you, once and for all, what the best shows really are.

Aug 24, 2009

Joe's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2008-2009 Season

Which shows will make the list? Who will be Number 1? Will your favorite show make the cut? Brett Favre! [okay, Brett Favre doesn't actually have anything to do with this, but I just wouldn't feel right not including him somewhere]

Aug 19, 2009

I Couldn't Be More Excited About Brett Favre

Some fellow Vikings fans aren't as excited as I am about Brett Favre coming to town. I try to explain to them why they're wrong.

Jul 29, 2009

The "President" Has Some Explaining To Do

Other than the mountains of irrefutable evidence that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen, what evidence do we actually have that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen? One patriot dares to ask the tough questions...

Jul 1, 2009

Ten Best Picture Nominees? Sure! Why Not?

The Oscars just changed the rules so that ten movies will be nominated for Best Picture instead of five. But which movies might have been nominated if they'd changed that rule five years ago?

Jun 8, 2009

The PoopReading.com Baseball Movie Draft

Really, not to toot our own horn here, but if you like baseball, and you like movies, then I don't know why on earth you wouldn't want to read this.

Jun 1, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part II

Let's finish what we started, shall we?

May 22, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part I

Jesse "The Body" Ventura over real gubernatorial candidates, "American Idol's" Kris Allen over everyone else, VHS over Beta, and more...

May 20, 2009

Pooping My Pants With "Glee"

Don't get hung up on the title of this piece; it's something of an in-joke between me and PoopReading.com contributor Jameson Simmons, from back before this website was even a gleam in anyone's eye. The piece itself is about "Glee," the TV show.

May 8, 2009

The Weekly Log, 5/8/09

Lots of stuff to cover this week, folks. We've got sports, we've got TV; well... mostly just sports and a little bit of TV.

May 7, 2009

My Lifetime Passes

A link that our own Brandon Kruse put up earlier in the week inspired me to think about who has earned my "lifetime pass." Kevin, Joss, Sarah and Norm: thanks for all the good work.

May 1, 2009

The Weekly Log, 5/1/09

My descent into Facebook madness continues unabated...

Apr 24, 2009

The Weekly Log, 4/24/09

Gay marriage, Kent Hrbek, and "Chuck."

(this blurb should not be taken to mean that Kent Hrbek is getting gay married to a guy named Chuck. I mean, I haven't specifically heard that he isn't, but, in this particular case, I think we can take the absence of any evidence that he is to mean that he is not)

Apr 10, 2009

The Weekly Log, 4/10/09

I whine about an obscure baseball urban legend and recommend a show on DVD.

Apr 8, 2009

The Top 51 TV Shows By State, Part Two

You never thought you'd see the day, but after four months it's finally here... I unveil the second of my multi-part series, in which we consider the top TV shows ever set in Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida and Georgia.

Apr 3, 2009

The Weekly Log, 4/3/09

Thoughts on NASCAR (sort of), "Castle" (watch it), and Uncle Ned Packers Fan (I'll explain...)

Mar 27, 2009

The Weekly Log, 3/27/09

A sports team with stupid uniforms finally suffers real consequences; plus, trifling thoughts on "American Idol" and "Dollhouse."

Mar 18, 2009

My 2009 Bracket, Part Two

In which you find out who I pick to win it all. And I know the suspense has been killing you.

Mar 17, 2009

My 2009 Bracket, Part One

This'll get us to the Sweet Sixteen; tomorrow I'll take us the rest of the way.

Mar 6, 2009

The Weekly Log, 3/6/09

To welcome my second daughter into the world I've got some parenting tips; and for no reason in particular I've got a slight bone to pick with the movie In Bruges.

Mar 3, 2009

"Did Babe Ruth Take Asteroids?"

A little kid's question at the Baseball Hall of Fame prompts a father to conclude that the job of the Hall of Fame voter is not the same as the job of a dad.

Feb 26, 2009

The Voice of Tony Siragusa

Family commitments have kept me from writing anything new the last day or two, but I figured I'd put up this oldie but goodie. Not to be immodest, but it might be my favorite thing I've ever written.

Feb 24, 2009

The End of a Particularly Funny and Interesting Era

I loved, loved, loved "The Adam Carolla Show." And now it's gone.

Feb 20, 2009

Oscar Picks 2009!

My Oscars picks column comes to PoopReading.com... and the world will never be the same. Okay, fine; it will. Just go ahead and read this in any case, okay?

Feb 19, 2009

Movie Draft: Out of Order

The third of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft showcases the comedic talents of Richard Jenkins, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt and Philip Seymour Hoffman, as Melissa Leo looks on (hey, somebody's got to play the straight man).

Feb 17, 2009

2009 Movie Draft

Fire. Sliced bread. The automobile. Flight. Landing on the moon. These were some of mankind's greatest achievements. Until now.

Feb 13, 2009

The Weekly Log, 2/13/09

If Alex Rodriguez is the most hated man in sports right now, hockey player Bryan Little of the Atlanta Thrashers should be the most beloved.

Feb 12, 2009

The Five-Year Oscar Rule: Best Picture, 2003

While everyone debates which movie deserves to win at this year's Oscars, we take a look at who should have won in 2003. Be warned: the Academy's choices don't look any better in the long view.

Feb 11, 2009

Ranking the Super Bowls, Part Three

Finally – and definitively – all-time great Super Bowl #17 through all-time great Super Bowl #1. And I don't want to hear any arguments out of any of you.

Feb 10, 2009

Will Jon Hamm Save America?

A few months ago, Clint Eastwood basically called our generation a bunch of pussies. Was he right? In there anyone out there who can take up the mantle of Clint, or, for that matter, of Harrison Ford? This piece's title might give you a clue...

Feb 9, 2009

Ranking the Super Bowls, Part Two

In which I take you on a magical journey from the 27th-best Super Bowl ever all the way to... the 18th-best Super Bowl ever. Don't worry; the good ones are coming soon.

Feb 6, 2009

The Weekly Log - 2/6/09

In which I cover reality TV and grammar. And if there are two more compelling subjects out there waiting to be tackled, I'd certainly love to hear what they are... yeah. Thought so.

Feb 4, 2009

Ranking the Super Bowls, Part One

Some say the Steelers-Cardinals Super Bowl was the greatest ever played. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. You'll have to wait until later in the week to find out what was; for now, though, read about all-time-best Super Bowl #43 through all-time-best Super Bowl #28. Why #28? Because that's when I got tired.

Jan 30, 2009

NFL 2008 - Super Bowl XLIII

Come on, Steelers. You've got to win. For anything to make any kind of sense, ever again, you've just got to.

Jan 29, 2009

"It's a Fat Free Food!  Moo!"

Too much committee thinking and group input will invariably lead to the worst possible solution.

Jan 23, 2009

The Weekly Log - 1/23/09

Normally on Fridays in this space you get an NFL picks column out of me. Such a column is significantly more difficult to put together when there is no NFL football being played, so I debut a new Friday feature. I hope you like it.

Jan 21, 2009

All the 2008 Movies I Saw

I only saw 20; that's what happens when you start having kids, I'm afraid. But, out of those 20, there were surprisingly few dogs. Find out which one I liked best; I'm sure you're just dying to know.

Jan 20, 2009

"...A Kid in Iowa Who Grows Up To Become President..."

We originally published this piece back in November, but it seems like a good fit for inauguration day. And, if you haven't read it, it's new to you!

Jan 16, 2009

NFL 2008 - Conference Championships

Pretty much everyone went 1-3 last week; I went 2-2. So, at least that's something. Plus, I single-handedly fix the NFL's overtime problem.

Jan 14, 2009

"American Idol" Is Back, and I've Got It Covered

Now that "American Idol" is losing steam and getting desperate, to the point of adding a fourth judge to a panel that's been the same for seven years, I figure this is the perfect time to start writing about it on the internet.

Jan 12, 2009

The Best Show On TV

The title goes back to "30 Rock"... and, since all that needs to be said about that show's principals has been said already, we take a bit of a look at the episodes written by the man who's written most of the best ones.

Jan 9, 2009

NFL 2008 - Divisional Playoffs

This is the week we turn it around. I feel good about things. I mean, if I can go 0-4 last week, I can just as easily go 4-0 this week. I mean, you'd think so, right?

Jan 5, 2009

The Nine Most Under-Appreciated Films of My Lifetime

I wrote this a few months ago, but it still holds true. Besides, if you haven't read it, it's new to you!

Jan 2, 2009

NFL 2008 - Wild Card Playoffs

I would have sworn that it was "on a pile of money with many beautiful women," but, I looked it up and Brandon had it right. I shouldn't have doubted him. Anyway, here's some crap about football.

Dec 26, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 17

Merry Christmas and Happy Inevitable Late-Season, Playoff-Missing Collapse, Vikings Fans!

Dec 19, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 16

If you don't want to hear from a pessimistic Vikings fan who can imagine several nightmare scenarios whereby his team misses the playoffs... then don't read this. Otherwise, enjoy!

Dec 16, 2008

So You've Decided to Attack a World Leader

The contents of a pamphlet found among Iraqi shoe-thrower Muntadhar al-Zeidi's personal effects shed some light on his methods...

Dec 12, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 15

Two winning weeks in a row, everybody. The force is strong with this one. Read on...

Dec 9, 2008

The Top 51 TV Shows By State, Part One

In the first of a series, we take a look at Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas and California. And yes, we know there are only 50 states; the District of Columbia has shows, too.

Dec 5, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 14

Finally, a winning week last week, folks. Can't nothing stop us now!

Dec 4, 2008

The Best Show on TV

I didn't give "How I Met Your Mother" the title of The Best Show on TV, "How I Met Your Mother" took the title by brute force.

Dec 2, 2008

12 Fantastic TV Characters Whose Portrayers Did Not Receive an Emmy Nomination (Part Two)

Finally, we get to talk about the ladies. Part One was a regular sausage fest, huh fellas?

Dec 1, 2008

12 Fantastic TV Characters Whose Portrayers Did Not Receive an Emmy Nomination (Part One)

These people should have been recognized. Now, finally, in the form of an internet post that almost no one (except you!) is ever going to read, they will be.

Nov 26, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 13

I didn't have a losing week last week, folks! Everything's coming up Mulder!

Nov 21, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 12

Included herein: several paragraphs of boring commentary about NFL officiating, followed by 32 Zooperstars. What are Zooperstars, you ask? Well, you're in for a treat...

Nov 20, 2008

The Best Show on TV

As we prepare to bid "The Shield" a fond farewell next Tuesday, at last it assumes its rightful place at the top of the television heap.

Nov 19, 2008

"We're From Adelaide"

In a train car on a dark night in Sydney, I find out all I will ever need to know about Adelaide. I'm dying to visit someday.

Nov 14, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 11

This is the week. I can feel it, guys; my picks are good. My picks are solid. This is the week.

Nov 7, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 10

I pretty much mailed it in this week, folks. I'm not going to lie.

Nov 3, 2008

Leave Al Franken Alone

In defense of an embarrassing buffoon.

Oct 31, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 9

Everyone should vote... to read my NFL picks column! (Get it? 'Cause... the election?)

Oct 24, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 8

I haven't had a winning week in a while; that means I'm due, right?

Um... right?

Oct 21, 2008

Senator Obama Reaches a New Low

McCain, Palin and Biden all have kids in the military, but not Obama. What; are his children too good to fight for our country? Read on...

Oct 17, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 7

I feel really good about this weeks picks, you guys. Of course, I wouldn't tell you if I didn't...

Oct 15, 2008

The Top Ten TV Shows of the 2007-2008 Season, Part 2

Last time I said that Part 1 was shows 10 through 5; I lied. It was 10 through 6. If you can bring yourself to trust me this time, I give you shows 5 through 1.

Oct 13, 2008

The Best Show on TV

Oct 10, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 6

Because my guess is as good as yours.

Oct 8, 2008

The "Doogie Howser, MD" Drinking Game

It's not actually a drinking game. But still.

Oct 7, 2008

The Top Ten TV Shows of the 2007-2008 Season

Shows 10 through 5... the other half of the list is coming soon.

Oct 5, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 5, addendum

Falcons @ PACKERS -5.5

Oct 2, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 5

I always say that you don't really know anything until Week 5. Well, it's Week 5... and I'm still confused.

Sep 4, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 1

And we're off and running with another season of the NFL and, perhaps even more importantly, another season of my NFL picks column!

There's an old story about Willie Mays hitting a triple, and someone saying, "the only man who could have caught it, hit it." Such is Joe Mulder's lament: the person who most desires the services of PoopReading.com, co-created the site. Joe has written for The Athletic Reporter (which he also co-created) and "Cheap Seats" on ESPN Classic (which he did not). He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughters.

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